He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
