she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My pussy is not your playground.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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