Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
