If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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