i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
