Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm like, not good at living.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
