We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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