why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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