hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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