Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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