is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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