there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
