guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
