just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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