Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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