That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
