we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
