We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
