my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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