i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
