you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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