I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
