I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
