shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
