So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
