So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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