Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
