ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
