is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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