It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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