Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
