You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
