My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
