very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
