its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
