He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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