I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
