Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
