well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
