I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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