I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
