Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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