I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
