a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
