yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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