apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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