i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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