so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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