I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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