She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize