that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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