I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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