i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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