today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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