I'm laying in your front yard are you home
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
