Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
