I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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