i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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