True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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