Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
